


It Never Stops

by HayamaRei



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Church is alive, Heavy Angst, I'm really sorry, M/M, Post Season 13, i hate myself too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 10:20:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7930990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HayamaRei/pseuds/HayamaRei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The battle is over. They won. But something is very, very wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Never Stops

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta [IbelieveinMarkNutt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/IbelieveinMarkNutt/pseuds/IbelieveinMarkNutt) for editing this! You should all give her kudos, seriously she's great.

Wash had always known it would end like this. It was hard to imagine it differently with the background he had, and he is at peace with it, or at least he had been. He had been ready to go in a battle with all the glory that surrounded it, he liked to think so because it made it easier to accept, dying as a hero for a cause and being remembered. He had been ready. Not anymore. 

He doesn't want to die now, even though he knows he will, it's too late for him to escape, the cave is collapsing. The cave is collapsing and he can't dash for the exit because it's too far away and he'll be crushed, not that it matters, standing where he is will bring him to the same fate.

At least it gives him some time; just a few seconds more to make sure he doesn't go without saying a last goodbye to the person who made him want to live in the first place. 

"Tucker, can you hear me?" He asks over the radio, trying his best to keep his voice steady. 

"A little busy up here, Wash, what's up?" Tucker responds two heartbeats later. He sounds a little out of breath and Wash wants to sob.

"How are you guys holding up there?"

"Kicking those bitches' butts." Tucker replies immediately this time, his voice light and easy and filled with that raw confidence Washington has grown to love. He can't help but smile despite the heaviness in his chest.

"You do that. And make sure you come down in one piece, yeah?" 

"Yes boss." Tucker mocks, and Wash bites his lower lip to stop a whimper leaving his mouth.

He's not ready, God damn it!

"I love you." He says quietly, because he needs to say it one last time and because Tucker needs to know it. 

There's a retching sound and Grif's voice comes over the radio, telling them to get a private channel if they're going to be gross. 

There's a second of silence before Tucker says it back.

\---  
The moment Tucker gets off the ship and touches the ground is the moment he knows something is wrong. Everyone around is cheering and celebrating their victory as they should, but something is very, very wrong. 

He feels it in his gut, and his gut is rarely mistaken. 

Things become worse when Carolina approaches them from behind two big rocks, her helmet is off and the expression on her face is anything but celebrating. Dread settles in Tucker's stomach. 

"Hey, Carolina, ho-" Church starts from where he is above Tucker's shoulder, but Tucker cuts him off.

"Where's Wash?" He asks and his voice comes out sharper than he'd intended but for some reason he can't bring himself to regret it. Something's wrong. 

Carolina doesn't answer and she doesn't meet his eyes either. 

"Carolina," He says again, and this time she looks at him. Somehow that makes things worse, making the dread turn to panic, Tucker repeating himself slowly, "Where is Wash?"

She shakes her head and that's enough to send him running. It's a lie, it has to be. They'd spoken less than half an hour ago. The Mantis were stopped, nothing had been threatening the people on the ground anymore. 

After shoving his head in the third tank in a row he is pulled out by Carolina's hand on his shoulder. He wants to shake her off and run again but he doesn't. 

"I'm so sorry, Tucker." She says quietly, and her voice sounds more gentle than he's ever heard it, "He was my family, too."

"You don't know what you're talking about! He can't be gone!" Tucker snaps, surprising even himself. 

Even more surprisingly, Carolina doesn't snap back. She only looks sadder and it makes Tucker wish she had snapped too. 

"He was checking the caves for people hiding in them. One of the Mantis nearby the cave he was in exploded, the entrance collapsed and the shaking didn't stop. He got buried in. I'm so sorry." She explains. 

Tucker doesn't believe a word of it. "How do you know he's dead? He could be still alive and we're just wasting time while we could be rescuing him!"

"Do you think I didn't think of that?!" She finally raises her voice a little, "I ran every kind of scan I could on the ruins. There are no survivors." 

Tucker doesn't answer or wait for her to say something more, he simply turns around and runs away again.

When he stops he's in front of the collapsed cave. It's not hard to guess it's the one. 

"Church, I need you to run a bio-scan of the ruins." He says, his voice sounding too clinical to his own ears. 

Church flickers on beside him, silent for a moment until, "Scan complete. No life forms detected." 

"Run it again." Tucker insists, same unnatural calm in his tone. 

"Tucker I don't think-"

 

"RUN IT AGAIN!" Tucker roars, something in him finally breaking like fine china against marble floor.

"Tucker."

"He can't be dead, right? I've seen so much over the past years... I've thought you were gone so many times and you always come back. I've seen so many people nearly die only to come back again and continue as if nothing happened. Hell, I have thought myself dead more times than I can count and I'm still kicking... No one dies with us, Church, so tell me he isn't dead. Please..." His helmet becomes too tight for him and he tosses it away, taking a gulp of fresh air before finally bursting into tears. 

He cries until there's no more breath in his lungs and he feels like he's dying, and he likes that. It fills up the hole in his chest and he doesn't feel empty anymore. Church is still there, hovering over him when he passes out. 

When Tucker wakes up he's in a hospital ward. To his left Caboose is slumped over a chair in an uncomfortable looking position, snoring quietly. There's a helmet in his lap and Church is hovering two inches over it. 

"He fell asleep a while ago, been sitting here since they brought you in, said he didn't want you to be alone when you woke up." Church speaks quietly as if not to wake the sleeping guy up. 

"How long was I out?"

"About a day."

"Wash-"

"They're working on digging him up."

Tucker squeezes his eyes shut to stop the tears welling up again. 

"I know it hurts." Church speaks oh-so-softly. He rarely does that. "And I'm not saying you'll be okay because it never really stops, but you won't be alone in it. This idiot here, all of the idiots currently crammed in the waiting room outside, Carolina, me... You have us to lean onto, yeah? We won't leave you."

Tucker can't bring himself to answer, so he just sobs instead, but he believes what Church says and that makes it just a little better.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.   
> Tell me how much you hate me in the comments.


End file.
